he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So squirting runs in the family.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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