I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
