She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
