Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
