Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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