No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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