no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
