Where are you?
In a non slutty way
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
