Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
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