i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You can't just leave with hair like that
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
