'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
