i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
