My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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