i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
