Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
