He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
