"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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