There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
