I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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