New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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