So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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