Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
