The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
