What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
