fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I wish i was in the wii world.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She told me I should be a condom model.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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