How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
