I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
