woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
