i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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