I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
