There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
