if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
