did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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