I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
do nipples grow back?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
