How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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