After last night, I could never be a politician.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
