God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
