well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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