I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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