dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
