none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
