I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
