Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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