my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
