i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Ketchup is God's man juice
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
