So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I will be naked everywhere
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
