it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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