i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
