I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
