I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
