plz talk dirty to me
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
