pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
