You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
