It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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