what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
