I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
