I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Randomize
