You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
